There’s a quote that’s been circling in my head ever since I read a recent LinkedIn post by Yamilee Toussaint, the visionary Founder and CEO of STEM From Dance:
“True representation isn’t about fitting into their box. It’s about expanding the box so others can see themselves fitting too.”
Whew. Read that again.
Yamilee — who empowers girls of color to dream big in STEM through the power of dance — wrote about the intentionality behind the way she shows up, whether on a TV set or at coding camp with a group of 8-year-olds. Bright colors. Bold style. Infectious energy. Not because it’s performative, but because it’s authentic. And because she knows that her authenticity can be a mirror and a light for others.
That message hit home for me, because I remember what it felt like to try and squeeze into someone else’s box.
When I Thought I Had to Look the Part
Early in my career, I often found myself in rooms filled with people who were much older than I was. Board rooms. Philanthropy circles. Planning meetings with stakeholders and donors. In those spaces, I tried to seem “more professional.” I dressed the part : “grown-up” clothes, no goofing around, getting down to business. And I got the job done.
But with experience came a shift.
I began to realize that I didn’t need to perform a version of “professional” that didn’t feel true to who I was. In fact, trying to do so often got in the way.
When I started showing up more as me — the quirky shoes, the silly jokes, the real laughter, the occasional honesty about having an “off day” — I made deeper connections. Not just with colleagues, but with major donors, nonprofit executives, and collaborators of all kinds. The trust grew stronger. The work felt more fluid. And the results got better.
The Pandemic Fast-Tracked the Shift
During the early months of the pandemic, I started every Zoom meeting with a check-in: “How are you really doing?” It became OK to talk about our families, our stress, our struggles. I no longer had to pretend that I didn’t have a daughter who needed help with online school, or a father who needed my care, or days when I just wasn’t at my best. The lines between personal and professional became less rigid, and something beautiful emerged from that: Humanity. Compassion. Realness.
That realness didn’t diminish the quality of the work. In fact, it often elevated it.
It’s a Balance — But It’s Worth It
Now, let me be clear: I still show up professionally! I’m not hopping on Zoom in a ripped T-shirt or turning work meetings into therapy sessions. There’s a line. But within that space, I’ve made room for more of my full self.
I let my personality shine. I wear the funky shoes. I laugh (a lot). I share bits of joy and, sometimes, bits of struggle. Because I know it helps others feel seen and safe. And that creates the conditions for extraordinary results.
Authenticity is not just a buzzword. It’s a strategy for connection, trust, and impact.
What Happens When You Expand the Box?
When you bring your whole self to the work, you invite others to do the same. You expand the box. You signal that difference is not just tolerated, it’s welcomed. And in the nonprofit sector, where our work is so deeply human, that authenticity can be transformative.
If you don’t fit into their box… EXPAND THE BOX.
So I’ll ask you:
How do you show up authentically? Has it enhanced your professional relationships?
Let’s keep the conversation going. Share your thoughts in the comments or pass this along to a colleague who might need to hear this today.
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