“Don’t worry about checking email on nights and weekends. That’s YOUR time!”
… says the nonprofit leader, via email, at 11:42 pm on a Saturday.
I genuinely believe that most nonprofit leaders mean it when they encourage their staff to establish boundaries, take vacation time, rest, unplug, and protect their wellbeing. I also believe that many nonprofit leaders deeply value wellness and want to create healthier organizational cultures. But there’s a disconnect that happens in many nonprofit workplaces: leaders say one thing while modeling another.
And whether we realize it or not, our teams are watching us. They notice who responds to emails at all hours. They notice who always “saves the day.” They notice who never takes vacation, who works while sick, who jumps into every crisis, and who insists “everything’s fine” while visibly running on fumes. Culture is shaped less by what leaders say and more by what leaders repeatedly do.
Martyrdom Culture is Contagious
The nonprofit sector can unintentionally reward martyrdom. Many nonprofit leaders are deeply compassionate, committed people who care enormously about the mission, the clients, the staff, the donors, and the outcomes. They are used to stepping up, figuring things out, carrying heavy loads, and holding everything together. At first, this can feel empowering and meaningful.
But over time, “being dedicated” can slowly morph into over-functioning, exhaustion, guilt around resting, and the belief that the organization cannot possibly function without you. Many leaders receive subtle reinforcement for this behavior. People praise them for always being available, for answering emails instantly, for fixing every problem, and for “doing it all.”
But martyrdom is not the same thing as leadership. And martyrdom culture spreads quickly throughout an organization. When leaders consistently overwork, staff absorb the message — even if it’s never spoken aloud — that this is what commitment looks like. That being constantly available is what earns respect. That rest is something you talk about, not something you actually practice.
The Problem with Being “Indispensable”
I hear nonprofit leaders say all the time that they wish they could delegate more. They want their staff to take ownership. They want to empower their teams. And often, they genuinely mean it.
But delegation requires more than assigning tasks. Delegation requires trust. It means allowing someone else to approach a project differently than you would. It means resisting the urge to over-edit, over-correct, or reclaim the work halfway through because it’s not unfolding exactly as you envisioned. That’s uncomfortable, especially for capable, experienced leaders who are used to being the person with the answers.
Sometimes leaders unintentionally train their staff not to take ownership. Every decision eventually gets pulled back upward. Every draft gets heavily rewritten. Every problem circles back to the same person. Over time, staff stop taking initiative because they’ve learned that true ownership isn’t really available to them.
And when everything flows through one person, organizations become fragile. If one person has to approve everything, solve everything, fix everything, remember everything, and carry everything, that’s not organizational strength. It’s organizational vulnerability. Healthy organizations distribute knowledge, trust, responsibility, and leadership.
What Are You Modeling?
I think many nonprofit leaders carry an enormous amount of invisible pressure. They feel responsible not only for organizational success, but for people’s livelihoods, community needs, donor expectations, and mission outcomes. That’s real.
But leadership is not about carrying everything alone. One of the most powerful things a leader can do is model sustainability: trusting others, setting healthy boundaries, allowing room for imperfection and growth, and demonstrating that caring deeply about the mission does not require self-destruction.
Your team is watching you — not to judge you, but to understand what is truly expected. To determine what is valued. To figure out what kind of workplace culture they are operating within. If we want healthier nonprofit organizations, leaders cannot simply encourage wellness. We have to model it.
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